sexperiencias

LA MUJER PERFECTA EXISTE

Queridos Fans Cachondos:

El otro día tropecé con unas cuantas señoritas de calidad francamente envidiable.
Ahora no me cabe ninguna duda de que la mujer perfecta existe. No se queja, no te exige que recojas tus calcetines del suelo, no tienes que proporcionarle los obligatorios “te quiero” y encima es ajustable y está disponible siempre cuando se te antoja.
Por no mencionar el hecho de que te sale mucho más barata que una novia normalita.

¿Quién dijo que la tecnología no estaba al servicio del ser humano?

Una pena que esa gente va floja de genero masculino.

milena en el sexo y los hombres | Permalink | Comments (6)

I INSTALLING A HUSBAND - LA RESPUESTA

Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

PS. Another solution:
brand new BOYFRIEND 6.0 is already available in all good bars. Upgrade!

milena en el sexo y los hombres | Permalink | Comments (0)

I INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Queridos Fans Cachondos,
El otro día me llegó desde lejana Australia la siguiente carta un tanto desesperada. Os la expongo tal cuál está en inglés porque en vez de tradiucirla emplearé mejor el tiempo en tomarme los debidos Appletinies en Bryant Park de Manhattan.
Hasta la próxima semana tendré tiempo para escribir la respuesta.
¿Algunas sugerencias al respecto?

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

milena en el sexo y los hombres | Permalink | Comments (2)